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Sitting here listening to my heartbeat, beating fast Which makes it so hard to control my breathing rate Am boiling inside. That's how the rate of my anger Which after comes with dizziness How I wish this could stop But keeps recurring again and again Listening to music just pushes down tears Well, don't I deserve a peace of mind? I hate fighting with the inner self. I try to reason with every small questions I get Trying to reason why I still deserve to live, Even though I still see how we are failing, Us, inner self, and me. Inner self protested, also stating how tired she was. How draining it is to listen to same words again and again! With no luck in finding a solution. I wish I could end all of it But being told "it's not a solution" makes me wonder if, will I ever find one.